“Wish
I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then.” Bob Seger, Against the Wind
You
know you’re getting old when you start yearning for the good old days. Lately
an entire industry has popped up to try to teach people how to simplify their
lives—books and magazine articles, workshops and websites. Isn’t that what life
was like in the 1950s?
Imagine
this—no one could get in touch with you by telephone if you weren’t at home.
And that’s if your mother or the people who shared your party line weren’t
already using the line. Callers got a busy signal. I love busy signals so much
that I recorded one and use it as my alternative message on my answering
system. There were no cellphones, iPods, pagers, or GPS devices. People
couldn’t track you down—such peace.
We
had one car—the family car. I never had my own car until I was grown and
married.
My
family went out to eat about once a year at the Hot Shoppes where we ordered a
hamburger or liver and onions with a milkshake. Otherwise we ate at home—every
night my mother cooked pot roast or Hungarian goulash or tuna noodle casserole.
We always ate our vegetables and we always had dessert. During dinner the whole
family sat together around the table and we listened to my father’s stories
about his day at work. We didn’t fret about the nutrition standards in the
school cafeteria because there was no school cafeteria. We brought lunch in a
paper bag from home and ate at our desks in the classroom and there was no
talking during lunch.
There
were no artificial hormones in the milk because we got it delivered in the milk
box on the back step by a local dairy farmer my father knew from his school
days. There was no fluoride in the water. We got a lot of cavities and no one
had braces.
My clothes consisted of a school uniform and a few other things. The other things included one or two church-appropriate dresses and maybe two pairs of shoes and a coat. By the time I got to high school I also had a navy blue wool skirt and a white blouse and a pair of blue jeans. Then the blue jeans didn’t come worn in. They were stiff as a board and you had to wash them and wear them over and over and over again before they got that vintage, worn-in look. (I finally got that look just in time for the protest movements in the 1960s—perfect timing.) Now you can’t even buy stiff jeans like that unless you go to a western store that sells clothes for cowboys.
We
played with our siblings and kids in the neighborhood. We built clubhouses and
organized our own horribly dysfunctional carnivals. The boys tortured small
animals that they captured and the girls ran and told their parents. The boys
played sports and served as altar boys; the girls weren’t allowed to do such
things. We went to the local high school on Saturday mornings for classes that
included hula dancing and baton twirling—skills that I still find useful (ha!).
At
Halloween we went to every house in the neighborhood without adult supervision
because we knew all the neighbors and we never came home with razor blades or
poisoned candy; though often we came home with crumpled cookies and loose
popcorn in the bottom of our bags. On Valentine’s Day we gave a card to every
single one of the 50+ kids in our class, even the unfortunate Thomas Wojick who
had the giant tooth in the middle of his mouth and weighed 200 pounds in 4th
grade. It was just the right thing to do. I hope Thomas Wojick didn’t save the
valentine from me, thinking I was his sweetheart.
Surely
our parents had financial woes, family spats, and work issues. But my father
went to work at the telephone company immediately after World War II and worked
there until the day he retired 40 years later. We moved once—just a mile away—because
we needed a bigger house as the family grew.
There was stability, predictability, some might presume boredom. Certainly there were stories of abuse and unkindness in our community that people hid from one another. There were diseases, now easily treated, that killed people back then. Fathers dropped dead of heart attacks and mothers died in childbirth. There were scary priests and squirrelly neighbors but we just considered them part of life.
The
one thing that I miss about that time is the simplicity. We didn’t know life
could get so complicated. We didn’t know how dangerous it could be. We didn’t
know that whole groups of people could hate other whole groups of people. Our elected
leaders governed with civility. We weren’t bombarded every waking moment with
images of war and the horrors of man’s inhumanity to man.
I
suppose the former children of my generation have to let our children raise our
grandchildren differently in order to protect them from a dangerous world and
to prepare them for an increasingly complicated world. I just wish they didn’t
have to work so hard to make it simple.
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