Sunday, October 13, 2013

Losing my religion, part two

Last week I wrote a post on this blog about leaving my church and after about two days I deleted the post. I deleted it not because I have changed my mind, but because my words were too harsh. I loved my church and the people in it. I just have a strong difference of opinion with the leadership on the issue of forgiveness. And now I ask forgiveness for my harshness, for lashing out in anger. It was wrong.

Today is my first Sunday without my church and I feel lost. I have had a string of deep, deep losses in the past three years and my faith and the support of my church and my close friends has pulled me through. And now, not being part of the church is another huge loss for me. The rhythm of my life—going to worship service on Sunday morning and to community group on Wednesday night—has been changed. Already I miss celebrating the births and the marriages, the affirmation of new life.

I ask the Lord to bring me through yet another big loss. The image of the woman touching the hem of His garment, trusting that she would be healed, has been on my mind. I don’t have Him here, can’t see Him performing miracles. Can I have that kind of faith without something tangible, something I can see and touch?

Luke 8:48—“And he said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.’”

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