Last
week I wrote a post on this blog about leaving my church and after about two
days I deleted the post. I deleted it not because I have changed my mind, but
because my words were too harsh. I loved my church and the people in it. I just
have a strong difference of opinion with the leadership on the issue of
forgiveness. And now I ask forgiveness for my harshness, for lashing out in
anger. It was wrong.
Today
is my first Sunday without my church and I feel lost. I have had a string of
deep, deep losses in the past three years and my faith and the support of my
church and my close friends has pulled me through. And now, not being part of
the church is another huge loss for me. The rhythm of my life—going to worship
service on Sunday morning and to community group on Wednesday night—has been
changed. Already I miss celebrating the births and the marriages, the
affirmation of new life.
I
ask the Lord to bring me through yet another big loss. The image of the woman
touching the hem of His garment, trusting that she would be healed, has been on
my mind. I don’t have Him here, can’t see Him performing miracles. Can I have
that kind of faith without something tangible, something I can see and touch?
Luke
8:48—“And he said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.’”
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