“What’s wrong with ‘90s?” I asked myself. Isn’t that the current thing? It’s all a matter of perspective, I suppose. The 1890s were a while ago but in my mind the 1990s were recent. Weren’t they? It’s not like the jacket had giant shoulder pads or wide lapels. I wish I had a photo of myself wearing the hip-hugger fluorescent orange polyester short-shorts with the wide white belt that I wore in about 1970. Now that is a dated look. Even I shudder to think I once wore such a thing. But I still wish I had the photo to prove it.
Then there were the “parachute pants” I owned recently—not one, but two pairs. I loved those pants but my daughter called them MC Hammer pants. If I had them on, she’d say, not too subtly, “It’s Hammer time.” I probably bought them in the dreaded ‘90s. Shamed into a wardrobe purge, I gave them to Goodwill. Some lucky woman somewhere has those pants.
Since I’m on the subject of fashion, I want to point out a consumer shift that I heard about on NPR a few days ago. Apparently sales of adult diapers have now surpassed the sales of baby diapers. Talk about dressing 90s—as the population ages (yes, I’m talking about us, the baby boomers) we’re incontinent and wearing diapers. Lord, forgive me, but I just considered putting a bullet through my head.