Wednesday, May 25, 2011

An insomniac's prayer

Don’t give up! At church on Sunday Pastor Mark talked about not selling God short, about believing He can do great things, things beyond our wildest expectations. I want to believe that. I want to believe that He can do great things in our community and in the world. And I also want to believe He can do great things in me, in my heart, in my life. It’s more than persevering. It’s expecting the seemingly impossible. I need to pray with an open heart, pray without my own agenda, that He just knows much better than I how my life should unfold.

Yet at this moment I do have an agenda--all I'm praying for is to sleep. Lord, I’d like to say that I appreciate having so much opportunity to spend time with you in the wee hours of the morning, but I’m not feeling all that appreciative. It’s 2 a.m. I’ve been trying to get to sleep for 4 hours now. I turn out the light, get everything just so in my bed, but then I toss and turn trying to get the right position, moving the sheets, changing the speed of my ceiling fan, taking the phone out of the room because the blinking light is bothering me . . . and on and on. I get up for a while. I go back to bed for a while. I get up again. I start out this routine by saying, “Okay, Lord, here I am again, not sleeping, so let’s have a little chat.” But that little chat has become dull. I’m tired. I can’t think of anything else to say and I’m pretty sure you’ve fallen asleep out of pure blissful boredom. Is that you I hear snoring?

Please just let me sleep. I promise I’ll talk to you in the morning when I’m rested.

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