Monday, April 11, 2011

God shouts

“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world” – C.S. Lewis

What is He shouting to us now?

I’m processing a new reality in relative quiet. The funeral is over, my children have flown away, and I stare out the window hearing only the fan of my electronic air cleaner, the hum of the refrigerator, and an occasional car passing by. I’m hoping to hear what the Lord is shouting.

Eight days ago my younger brother was murdered, shot in the back by his neighbor. I don’t think any of us can process this heartbreak and senselessness while it’s so raw. But we all need to have something to hang on to, some reason to find meaning in this tragedy. I don’t use the word tragedy often and I’m not using the word glibly now. It is a tragedy, the worse thing that has ever happened to our family.

Days ago I decided that I have to create a box inside my head that I’ll label “senseless things I’ll never understand.” Mark’s death will be in that imaginary box. I could spend the rest of my life grappling with it and it will never, ever make sense.

As soon as Mark died, people started caring for me and my family. My neighbor Nancy drove me 25 miles on Sunday night because I was too shaken to drive to my mother’s house to break the news to her. My dearest friends have been by my side. People from my church called me and sent me messages offering to do anything for me—I know that they meant it. People from all over the world prayed for my family and me—I know that their prayers were lifted to the heavens in one great cry of grief and comfort. My two children cancelled everything else they needed to do to fly across the country just to be with me.

What is God shouting? I think what He is shouting is that terrible, terrible things can happen in this world, There are evil people who can take away people we love. Things happen that we will never understand while we are on this Earth. This is a world of hurt. But in this world of hurt there are so many good people, people who reach out to us, comfort us, pray for us when we get blind-sided by the world of hurt. God isn’t with us in a physical sense but He sends people to us who reflect His love. Thank you, Lord, for showing us in a real, tangible way that you are weeping with us.


  1. My heart is breaking for you and I don't even know you. My prayers are yours.

  2. Vivian Louise--as a few weeks have passed I am even more touched and comforted by so many people--some of whom are total strangers. It's still a brutal, unbelievable reality but every prayer is appreciated and needed. Thank you!