Flush!

No, I can’t believe I’m writing about this . . .

I was cleaning toilets today (everyone should clean a toilet from time to time for a dose of humility) and I thought about the time a visitor to my house neglected to flush the toilet and it went days undetected. I’m not referring to an “if it’s yellow, let it mellow” water conservation situation but an “if it’s brown, baby, it should go down” situation. I should have called the county health department for an emergency intervention. If you were a visitor at my house recently do not fear—it wasn’t you. Trust me.

Things like this can cause a lifetime of hard feelings. Take, for example, our family story about my grandfather. He was visiting a cousin somewhere near Pittsburgh in the 1950s. Apparently my grandfather was in the house alone, used the bathroom, and left the house without flushing. The cousin presumed that my grandfather left the toilet unflushed as a silent message of scorn. My grandfather claimed it was just an oversight. The cousin refused to believe him and they never spoke again. The Hatfields and the McCoys have been feuding for decades over less than an unflushed toilet.

Remember to flush.