A few days ago I heard a radio interview about a new film entitled Brooklyn’s Finest. In the dialogue, one of the characters says to a priest in confession, “I don't want God's forgiveness, I want his f*****g help."
Although I don’t think I’d dare use the f-word in the confessional, I totally understand the character’s line of reasoning. At the moment I’m beyond the forgiveness thing. Yes, I’m grateful, very grateful that Jesus died for my sins and that all has been forgiven. And I trust that I surely will fail again and will be forgiven again and again. I know I take forgiveness for granted and hope that He can even forgive that assumption.
But sometimes (now would be one of those times) I need God to have a more hands-on, direct approach. I’ve got questions and I need answers. I don’t have the patience to sit and wait for God to reveal the answers to me in time. I feel like a bratty little snot-nosed girl whining for the Lord’s attention. It’s like a bad case of spiritual ADD. For maybe five minutes I can sit in prayer or meditation and then I expect a concrete answer. I want an angel to appear in my living room. I want a burning bush in the backyard. I want to hear the voice of God in English with clear instructions. It’s probably not going to happen that way, is it?
Please Lord, send help! I’ll ask for forgiveness next time.