VD

Yep, it's that day again--February 14th. I'm not going to use the V-word. It's a humbug, a rotten Hallmark conspiracy. I've got a notion to start a VD eradication campaign, lobby the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to assign epidemiologists to the effort, maybe develop a social marketing campaign.

And what about the saint whom this day allegedly honors? I don't believe in him. I think the whole thing is a hoax. If he did exist, he probably was killed by an angry mob for selling cheesy greeting cards in the market place.

At church this morning there were a lot of people wearing red. Some of them were even holding hands with their sweethearts. Stop it, people! Have you no consideration for the lonely single people sitting behind you? Apparently not.

It's not that I'm anti-love. I'm just against the sappy faked sentimentality of the day. And I'm especially against the sappy faked sentimentality when there's no one who's going to bring me flowers, or a teddy bear wearing an "I (heart) you" t-shirt, or a Whitman's sampler. I could be into it if I got chocolate. Thank God the day is almost over. I can't wait for February 15th.