I'm sharing this list of eight things to remember when everything goes wrong, written by Marc and Angel (at www.marcandangel.com), the authors of 1000 Little
Things Happy Successful People Do Differently. I have highlighted portions that shouted truth to me. And, you know me--I'd add "with the help of the Lord" to every one of these.
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“Today, I’m sitting in my hospital bed waiting to have both my
breasts removed. But in a strange way I feel like the lucky one. Up until now I
have had no health problems. I’m a 69-year-old woman in the last room at the
end of the hall before the pediatric division of the hospital begins. Over the
past few hours I have watched dozens of cancer patients being wheeled by in
wheelchairs and rolling beds. None of these patients could be a day older than
17.”
That’s an entry from my grandmother’s journal, dated 9/16/1977.
I photocopied it and pinned it to my bulletin board about a decade ago. It’s
still there today, and it continues to remind me that there is always, always,
always something to be thankful for. And that no matter how good or bad I have
it, I must wake up each day thankful for my life, because someone somewhere
else is desperately fighting for theirs.
Truth be told, happiness is not the absence of problems, but the
ability to deal with them. Imagine all the wondrous things your mind might
embrace if it weren’t wrapped so tightly around your struggles. Always look at
what you have, instead of what you have lost. Because it’s not what the world
takes away from you that counts; it’s what you do with what you have left.
Here are a few reminders to help motivate you when you need it
most:
#1. Pain is part of growing.
Sometimes life closes doors because it’s time to move forward. And that’s a
good thing because we often won’t move unless circumstances force us to. When
times are tough, remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose. Move on
from what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you. Just because you’re
struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing. Every great success requires some type
of worthy struggle to get there. Good things take time. Stay patient and stay
positive. Everything is going to come together; maybe not immediately, but
eventually.
Remember that there are two kinds of pain: pain that hurts and
pain that changes you. When you roll with life, instead of resisting it, both
kinds help you grow.
#2. Everything in life is temporary.
Every time it rains, it stops raining. Every time you get hurt, you heal. After
darkness there is always light – you are reminded of this every morning, but
still you often forget, and instead choose to believe that the night will last
forever. It won’t. Nothing lasts forever.
So if things are good right now, enjoy it. It won’t last
forever. If things are bad, don’t worry because it won’t last forever either.
Just because life isn’t easy at the moment, doesn’t mean you can’t laugh. Just
because something is bothering you, doesn’t mean you can’t smile. Every moment
gives you a new beginning and a new ending. You get a second chance, every
second. You just have to take it and make the best of it. (Read The Last Lecture.)
#3. Worrying and complaining changes nothing.
Those who complain the most, accomplish the least. It’s always better to
attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and
succeed. It’s not over if you’ve lost; it’s over when you do nothing but
complain about it. If you believe in something, keep trying. Don’t let the
shadows of the past darken the doorstep of your future. Spending today
complaining about yesterday won’t make tomorrow any brighter. Take action
instead. Let what you’ve learned improve how you live. Make a change and never
look back.
And regardless of what happens in the long run, remember that
true happiness begins to arrive only when you stop complaining about your
problems and you start being grateful for all the problems you don’t have.
#4. Your scars are symbols of your strength.
Don’t ever be ashamed of the scars life has left you with. A scar means the
hurt is over and the wound is closed. It means you conquered the pain, learned
a lesson, grew stronger, and moved forward. A scar is the tattoo of a triumph
to be proud of. Don’t allow your scars to hold you hostage. Don’t allow them to
make you live your life in fear. You can’t make the scars in your life
disappear, but you can change the way you see them. You can start seeing your
scars as a sign of strength and not pain.
Rumi once said, “The wound is the place where the Light enters
you.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. Out of suffering have emerged the
strongest souls; the most powerful characters in this great world are seared
with scars. See your scars as a sign of “YES! I MADE IT! I survived and I have
my scars to prove it! And now I have a chance to grow even stronger.”
#5. Every little struggle is a step forward. In life, patience is not about waiting; it’s the ability to keep
a good attitude while working hard on your dreams, knowing that the work is
worth it. So if you’re going to try, put in the time and go all the way.
Otherwise, there’s no point in starting. This could mean losing stability and
comfort for a while, and maybe even your mind on occasion. It could mean not
eating what, or sleeping where, you’re used to, for weeks on end. It could mean
stretching your comfort zone so thin it gives you a nonstop case of the chills.
It could mean sacrificing relationships and all that’s familiar. It could mean
accepting ridicule from your peers. It could mean lots of time alone in
solitude. Solitude, though, is the gift that makes great things possible. It
gives you the space you need. Everything else is a test of your determination,
of how much you really want it.
And if you want it, you’ll do it, despite failure and rejection
and the odds. And every step will feel better than anything else you can
imagine. You will realize that the struggle is not found on the path, it is the
path. And it’s worth it. So if you’re going to try, go all the way. There’s no
better feeling in the world… there’s no better feeling than knowing what it
means to be alive.
#6. Other people’s negativity is not your problem.
Be positive when negativity surrounds you. Smile when others try to bring you
down. It’s an easy way to maintain your enthusiasm and focus. When other people
treat you poorly, keep being you. Don’t ever let someone else’s bitterness
change the person you are. You can’t take things too personally, even if it seems
personal. Rarely do people do things because of you. They do things because of
them.
Above all, don’t ever change just to impress someone who says
you’re not good enough. Change because it makes you a better person and leads
you to a brighter future. People are going to talk regardless of what you do or
how well you do it. So worry about yourself before you worry about what others
think. If you believe strongly in something, don’t be afraid to fight for it.
Great strength comes from overcoming what others think is impossible.
All jokes aside, your life only comes around once. This is IT.
So do what makes you happy and be with whoever makes you smile, often.
#7. What’s meant to be will eventually, BE.
True strength comes when you have so much to cry and complain about, but you
prefer to smile and appreciate your life instead. There are blessings hidden in
every struggle you face, but you have to be willing to open your heart and mind
to see them. You can’t force things to happen. You can only drive yourself
crazy trying. At some point you have to let go and let what’s meant to be, BE.
In the end, loving your life is about trusting your intuition,
taking chances, losing and finding happiness, cherishing the memories, and
learning through experience. It’s a long-term journey. You have to stop
worrying, wondering, and doubting every step of the way. Laugh at the
confusion, live consciously in the moment, and enjoy your life as it unfolds.
You might not end up exactly where you intended to go, but you will eventually
arrive precisely where you need to be. (Read A New Earth.)
#8. The best thing you can do is to
keep going. Don’t be afraid to get back up – to try again, to love again,
to live again, and to dream again. Don’t let a hard lesson harden your heart.
Life’s best lessons are often learned at the worst times and from the worst
mistakes. There will be times when it seems like everything that could possibly
go wrong is going wrong. And you might feel like you will be stuck in this rut
forever, but you won’t. When you feel like quitting, remember that sometimes
things have to go very wrong before they can be right. Sometimes you have to go
through the worst, to arrive at your best.
Yes, life is tough, but you are
tougher. Find the strength to laugh every day. Find the courage to feel
different, yet beautiful. Find it in your heart to make others smile too. Don’t
stress over things you can’t change. Live simply. Love generously. Speak
truthfully. Work diligently. And even if you fall short, keep going. Keep
growing.
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My very favorite part of this is the quote from Rumi, worth repeating: “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
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