From this vantage point, at age 67 years and 8 months, these are some of my observations:
(1)
I can now begin to see the fruits of my life’s work and it’s a glorious thing.
My children are adults. Out of my body sprung two amazing people. They weren’t the size
they are now when they were born. For that alone I am so grateful. They grew up
and had children of their own. I sometimes have this image of those nesting Russian
wooden dolls with a big doll that contains a smaller doll, and inside the
smaller doll, another doll . . . me, my kids, their kids . . . a seemingly
simple yet incredibly complex story of the perpetuation of the human race. And
I see that I not only created a family, but I also forged life-long
friendships. I created things with my own hands, I gained knowledge and skills.
So, looking down from the hilltop, I see that some things worked, some things
didn’t work, and that some things may endure beyond my lifetime. But I know
that my existence mattered; I have left an imprint, however small it may be.
(2)
From this vantage point I see the unending horrors of life. The hate and pain
inflicted by some people on others never stop. The horrors morph and grow—different people
in different places and new, hideous means of inflicting harm—but the human
race seems incapable of living in peace. It seems we’ve been praying for peace
since the beginning of recorded time and we never get one step closer.
(3)
The enduring love of God has become so much clearer to me as I grow older. I
see how he has blessed me by sometimes not giving me the things I
wanted. Just looking back at prayers not answered gives me a small glimpse of His
plan. His plan is so much better than any plan of mine. He has such incredible
surprises for me, things I never could have imagined. I really am beginning to
see that all things work together for the good of those who love Him. Seeing
that love from this vantage point has given me an almost giddy joy. It makes me
want to sink deeper and deeper into that peaceful surrender that only comes
from a total trust in God. Sometimes being old has its advantages.
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