On my desk is a small brandy snifter that contains my entire
collection of sea glass, a few sharks’ teeth, and some heart-shaped stones that
my grandchildren gave me. The entire
collection of sea glass is pitiful, the net result of one day last year that I spent
walking on the shore of the little Chesapeake Bay community where my
grandfather had a house when I was young. Today I poured out the contents of
the snifter and studied the pieces of glass. My heart feels a little empty, for
it’s nearly September and only once this summer have I briefly walked in the
sand and put my toes in the Bay. In the palm of my hand I can hold the Bay. If
only the sea glass had the scent of the salty air, maybe sprinkled with a touch
of Old Bay Seasoning.
Bottles were once functional—they contained medicine,
beer, or other necessities—then they were broken into shards, discarded as trash, and thrown into the Bay. Time and the natural rhythm of the water and the friction of the
sand honed these shards of glass into something beautiful, each piece unique.
Once trash, sea glass is now collected and admired for its many variations, soft color, and
texture.
Funny how that works—only time and surrender to the forces
of nature can transform these jagged shards into small pieces of pastel light
that fit in the palm of my hand. And likewise my broken life is renewed, honed
into something new, something I did not expect or even want. I wanted to be
functional in the traditional way—a wife and mother. I wanted to be a whole
shiny bottle, no chips, no broken shards. But the Lord’s plan called for me to
be broken, at first ugly and jagged. And God continues to reshape me. Just like
the sea glass, tossed in the salty water, rolling with the tides. I simplify my
life, carve it down, smooth the jagged edges. Simplify so my main focus is
something more beautiful—God, growing in faith, and finding the peace that true
and simple faith brings to me.
God knows my past, everything I know, feel, and remember.
Only He knows my future. He will continue to hone me. I must trust that He will
create something beautiful, something I never imagined. I wanted to be a bottle
but He is making me sea glass.
I've read this post more than once since last August and it still makes me cry. Our stories are very similar and this text describes accurately how I have been feeling for the past couple of years.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I know that, although I "feel" broken, time will prove that I am still whole, functional and needed. It's a matter of wanting to face and accept the "unknown and unfamiliar". God doesn't mean for any of us to remain broken forever and there is so much to be done in the world.
Anyway, sea glass can always be used to create beautiful decorative pieces or jewelry ...
Thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me that something I wrote can resonate with someone else. We can be better, stronger in our brokenness. Isn't it amazing how God works?
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