Madonna and child

It's Christmas! Joy to the world! So there's a website I like that has a wonderful collection of images of paintings throughout several centuries. And today I decide to look through some of the Madonna and child paintings. It seems that at a certain point in the history of art, all the major artists felt compelled to paint their own versions of the Madonna and child. Some are beautiful, sacred, inspirational. Others are just plain weird. What in the world were these artists thinking?

 

Like this one--gives me the creeps. The other "babies" are just odd. They look like dwarfs playing miniature instruments. And baby Jesus is wearing some sort of disk on his head and he looks like he's devouring his mother.

You see a lot of this full frontal nudity. It seems a little disrespectful of the Divine Infant. Couldn't they have used the swaddling cloths to hide his privates? Note that Mary and Joseph are fully dressed with cloaks and things and the baby is totally naked. He's going to catch the death of cold.

What's with the baby Jesus's abdomen? Does he have some sort of odd infant six-pack? He looks like Nero, about to burn down Rome. At least he's discreetly covered.

This baby looks like some sort of alien life form. I'm not feeling the awe here.

Okay. Is this baby Jesus dressed in a gladiator outfit? It's either a gladiator thing or some sort of tutu. Come on--he had to be a manly baby. I'm not into this look either. Doggone. Mary should have had a shower, registered at Babies R Us and gotten the little guy some decent clothes.

 

 

I have to say this one is my favorite in the level of horror. Baby Jesus has to be the world's largest infant. I think Mary deserved sainthood just for agreeing to give birth to this child. And remember--it was natural childbirth in a cave because there was no room in the inn. Holy Mother of Christ!